I guess I’m kind of self-destructive.
It’s waking up to hear your soft breathing
as you sleep next to me
And going back to sleep
because nothing can take me away from you
It’s running my fingers through your hair
with your head on my lap
and watching your eyes slowly close
bewildered by your beauty
It’s coming home to see your eyes light up
like you haven’t seen me for years
"I missed you babe"
And then jumping on me and wrapping your arms and legs around me
Followed by an assault of soft kisses
It’s falling asleep
and waking up in the middle of the night
my arms around you
your hand in mine
kissing you on the cheek and going back to sleep
with your silenced snores lulling me to safety
It’s thinking about what’s to come
and not knowing what to do
but not really caring
because I’ll be with you
and you with me
and that’s really all that matters
It’s all those things that I don’t have now
that I miss
that made me feel
that keep me from moving on
Because it’s those things that I want
but mostly what I want
I thought being home would make me feel better. I guess helping my dad build a shed in the backyard is killing some time. Seeing the neighbor’s dog Mochi, or “Mocho” as my dad calls him, want to play cheered me up a little. I’ve spent the last two days mainly just in my room either on my computer or playing some stupid game to try to pass the time. I couldn’t even feel good about changing my car’s oil since my dad went ahead and did it for me even though I said I was going to do it.
I just feel sad and alone and it sucks that not even being at home with the people that show me nothing but love has changed that.
There’s an empty feeling in my stomach, like I need to do something, I just don’t know what that is. It’s my insecurities, my depression, my fear, my unwillingness to do something to change all of that.
I can’t even really blame it on the alligator. It’s really not his fault (but he probably isn’t helping either).
Officially 33 hours and 15 minutes more but it just feels like another day.
do water levels suck so much? I’m replaying Donkey Kong 64 at home and I got to Gloomy Galleon and just stopped. I’ll pick it up again later. It’s like five times as bad as the water temple since you have to do it with five different characters.
have this side goal in life to one day play in a mariachi band. It sounds like a ridiculous dream but I really enjoy the music. I think it’s so beautifully played. All of the instruments blend together perfectly and mesh to make an amazing symphony. I would play either the trumpet or the violin.
that we had a kid.
And he was a pumpkin.”
WHAT THE FUCK?!
My friend is a strange one.
I’m going to have an M3 or a 328i. I’d prefer the 328i because it’s a four door and that reason only, but I’d be content with either. I want to learn to drive stick too.
I had a great time with my friend in San Diego, even if my stomach felt weird and I had a headache at the end of the night. :)
Django Unchained was really good!
"Up, up, and away…from the curb." Hahaha
Next time we will get tacos for sure.
We had planned to go to the San Diego Convention Center to go see the car show. We were going to take my car because his tires were more worn than mine and his car would probably slide in the rain.
Okay. I go pump gas and head over to his house. I call him once I get there.
"Hey where you at foo?"
"I’m at your pad man. You?"
"Foo wtf? I’m at your pad. I thought I was gonna pick you up since we were going to take my car."
"Wtf foo. Alright I’ll be over there in a bit."
We get to San Diego, drive around for about half hour to find parking. No problem there. Get inside and look at cars. Enter a raffle to win a 2012 Jeep. Checking out different muscle cars, Lambos, BMW’s, etc etc.
Time to head back home.
I open the door on the driver’s side and try the lock to open the passenger side door. No go. That’s weird…
Fuck. The battery’s dead.
So we’re in SD with a car with a dead battery.
"Let’s go find some store with jumper cables and buy some."
"Man idk where we are. Where are we gonna find cables?"
"Alright let’s just go look around."
After 20 minutes we go back to my car with some muffins and chocolate milk…and no jumper cables.
"Hahahahahaha man this shit would happen to us."
"Foo shut up and let me enjoy my muffin."
"Hahahahaha alright man. How we gonna get my car to start?"
After about another hour and a half of calling people and asking strangers if they had cables some dude in a Cadillac jump started my car and we were on our way back.
3 long fucking hours, hungry, in the rain, and cold with one of my close friends.
What a day.