my throat hurts so fucking much right now. It’s like I’m getting cut from the inside and getting a piece of burning coal rubbed on it.
I helped my brother learn how to ride a bike today.
He’s almost nine.
I fee like it took him longer than most kids to learn but I know it’s not his fault. He would feel bad about himself because he would see other kids on their bikes and he couldn’t ride his.
"Those little girls can but I can’t," when the neighbor kid went by.
I know my mom expected my dad to be the one to teach him but my dad can’t do those things anymore. All the years of working non-stop every day are wearing him down. He’s too tired to chase my brother and keep him from falling. And that leaves me to take responsibility for some of the things she expects my dad to do with my brother.
Seeing the smile on his face as he rode up and down the street really made my day though.
This is the end.
I really fucked up this time.
And I have no one to blame but myself.
And I feel trapped.
And like I wasted so much.
So much time,
so much money,
Here I am laying on my bed because I don’t know what to do with myself.
Someone please make it stop
I just want to talk to someone. :(
I didn’t think it was possible to feel two extremes at the same time.
If you love a soul, more than fame and gold
And that soul feels the same about you.
It’s a natural fact, there’s no turning back.
And here’s some advise to you.
You got to say its you and me.
I just want a hug.
Or someone to hold me.
I guess I’m kind of self-destructive.